Wednesday, December 12, 2007

It's just all jumbled.

Life has been so insanely crazy lately it's not even funny. Had to move back in(well somewhat moved) with my parents cause well Ashlen and I had a falling out issue. That just was crazy and stressful on me just cause it was emotionally straining on everything, mostly because at first I felt so beyond betrayed by Eric.

Finally once he and I talked about things he was great and was there for me to talk to about it which I was really greatful for because for once I leaned on him for something. We both kind of realized in the past few weeks how thankful and greatful we are for one another which kind of made me a little bit happier.

But I mean things aren't like PERFECT between us though because sometimes there's those stupid fights we get into because I'll be stuborn about things that he says to me and I know he's right but I don't really want to admit that he is. It's just I hate admitting to him though that things he says to me are right because there's a part of me that doesn't want him to be right one things about me, but I guess maybe it's good that he does notice things that I need to work on and point them out to me or else I'm just going to keep on doing them and not fix it.

I just have sooo many thoughts going through my head about things that I really just feel like letting it all out by crying but I'm afraid that if I do I won't stop and it scares me. There's that part of me though that wants to let it all out to someone else but really I don't even feel like I can or have someone that I can do that to.

There are times when I feel that everything is great but the moment that I think that there's something that gets thrown in and makes me re-think everything and even more confused about things.

Honestly life is just seeming more confusing as the days go by, more so than I hope and hope though that some how something good is going to become of all this and I'll be happy(and not the fake happy like I put on now a days).

I just wish that guys weren't so complicated.....

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